Just Enjoy The Show
by jamie55
Summary: AU: Barney sees Robin first and Ted, unknowingly, challenges him to date her for a few weeks. Robin is new in town and her 'friends' want her to date and dump someone because on that night 'men are the enemy'. Cue Barney.
1. Prologue

A/N: Set in an alternate timeline (or universe) where, in the pilot episode, Yasmine was not dating Carl the bartender. The butterfly effect, and a certain prompt by 1angelette, has something to do with what follows that event. Maybe for 1angelette awesome prompt, which distracted me in math class because it just got better the more I thought of it.

* * *

Tonight was the night Marshall would propose to Lily. The two were perfect together and in a year's time they would be married. And what was Ted, Marshall's best friend one of Marshall's best friends, was doing? He was hanging out with Barney Stinson, bachelor extraordinaire. He, of course didn't understand Ted's laments about still being single. Being single was great.

"I suggest we play a little game I like to call: Haaaave you met Ted?" Barney said rubbing his hands in excitement.

"No I don't want to play-", Ted tried to protest, but Barney had already tapped on the closest girls shoulder and pulled Ted towards her.

"Hy, have you met Ted?" He said before walking away. Ted sighed giving in to Barney's masterful and persistent wing man skills.

"Hy, I'm Ted."

"I'm Yasmine."

"Yasmine, that's a beautiful name."

"Thanks it's Lebanese." Ted smiled, knowing that Barney was just talking about how he wanted to land a Lebanese girl (apparently Lebanese girls are the new half Asian).

--

A little while later, while Marshall proposed to Lily, Ted – half drunk – asked out Yasmine.

"You want to go out with me sometime?"

"Uh... Sure. Here's my number." She said scribbling her phone number down.

"Awesome", Ted smiled happily.

"Call me", she said getting up.

"I will", Ted walked back over to the bar where Barney was chatting with a blonde bimbo.

"That's horrible", Barney told her offering his fake condolence in order to get her into bed. "I can't believe he would just dump you like that, and on your anniversary. You deserve better." He nodded a bit to emphasize his point.

"Oh shut up", she blew him off and walked back to her group of friends.

"Nice", Ted commented. "Guess what I got? Digits from a – wait for it – Lebanese girl", he raised his eyebrows and awaited his congratulatory high five or fist bump.

"Awesome", they high fived.

"Yeah, she's great. I think there could really", he hesitated but smiled, "be something between us, you know? She could be-"

"NO, no. Ted don't you dare say it or I will slap you", he threatenly waged his finger. "You have got to relax and cool it with the marriage crap and 'the one'. There is no 'one' there is someone, someone for you to nail. It could be her or her or the brunette in the green sweater, hello!" He nodded in the direction. "I call dibs." Ted looked.

"Wow she is hot, but I don't think she'll go for you."

"What? Why not?" Barney asked his face falling from one of preparation – adjusting his tie and practicing his grin and wink – to one of disappointment.

"I can tell you right now: she's not a bimbo. If anything she seems to be more my type than-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's just too bad because I called dibs first. Plus with your 'I have to find the one' mojo, you wouldn't even get to first base before scarring her of to Canada to never be heard from again."

"Canada?"

"I had a slushie, today."

"Whatever, you just don't understand what_ actually_ dating is like. Finding 'the one' is the whole point."

"Dude, I totally know what dating is, and I have had many dates."

"No, you have had many conquest."

"You know it", Barney grinned.

"But I don't think you've ever dated someone more than once or twice."

"What's your point?" Barney asked taking a sip of scotch while keeping his eyes on the brunette, she was easily a nine or a ten.

"My point is, you couldn't keep a date for more than two night, if you tried."

"I could too. I won't but that's not because I can't. It's because I have other places to be, other people to see. It would be cruel for me to try and contain my awesomeness for just one girl." He gave the brunette a wink when she looked his way.

"I knew you couldn't..."

Robin Scherbatsky was out with a few friends she had managed to make in the couple of months since she's moved to New York. One of them had just recently been dumped - which was a bummer and all – but it made for a pretty bland night. Any interaction with any male (except for the barman) was looked upon as an act of betrayal, tonight they were the ennemi. So when a cute blond guy winked her way from the bar, Robin received an angry look from Maurissa.

"Ugh, why doesn't he just leave us be, the pig. You know he was actually trying to hit on me before. Like anyone's gonna fall for that line."

"What was the line?" Robin asked curious, but received a wave of angry looks from the rest of their friends, clearly not what they should be talking about.

"Something about betting me 100 dollars that when I turned around, he'd say wow." Robin wondered how that would work out – would he actually pay you? Isn't that like prostitution? – while Maurissa went on. "I can't stand these guys, they just don't understand what it's like to have your heart broken into a million pieces."

"Well I'm sure some of them have been dumbed before."

"Oh yeah, how do you know? Did you ask them? Do you know them? Why don't you just marry him if you like him so much!" Maurissa ranted, leaving Robin wishing to run out the door in a very confused state.

"Is that a challenge, Ted?" Barney asked.

"You know what? It is. I challenge you to date, and actually date anyone for more than uh... let's say two weeks."

"Challenge accepted." He slammed his drink onto the bar and prepared to go get that brunette.

"I wish someone would dump him. Then he'd know what it felt like. It would be a victory for women everywhere."

"By dumping one guy?"

"It's a metaphor, Robin."

"Yeah I guess..."

"Why don't we do it!" Katelyn excitedly suggested.

"Dump a guy?"

"Yeah! The first guy who hits on us, whoever it is, will go out on a date with him and then dump "

"That sounds a little mean, don't you think?"

"A little, but it'll be a great distraction for Maurissa. Plus it's not like he's never done it before."

"Good point", Robin answered. So they all agreed to date and then dump the next guy they saw.

"But how long should the dating part be?" Debbie asked.

"Well it should be long enough for him to form an attachment but not long enough for him to want to dump you..."

"How about ten days?" Robin offered, "like in that movie."

"Oh my God! This is gonna be exactly like that movie!"

"I love that movie."

"But no falling in love."

"As if..."


	2. The Pick Up Line

The Pick-Up Line

* * *

Barney approached the table of women, he was actually kind of nervous, aiming his sights on the hot brunette in green he smiled. This was gonna be legen - wait for it...

------

The blonde guy who winked at her from the bar, came to their table grinning. He came straight to Robin.

"Hy there, I'm sorry to bother you all. But..." he actually paused a few seconds, acting thoughtful, Robin knew exactly what he was thinking of. "Well I was just wondering if one of you would mind helping me out of a little pickle I've found myself in." Maurissa hid her smile while Katelyn nodded, this was the guy.

"Okay, what's the problem", she less than enthusiastically asked. Katelyn kicked her under the table. "Handsome..." He grinned

-----

- dary!

"Well my car broke down outside and I need a little help. Not much just someone to hold a flashlight or something..." He directed this nonchalantly to the brunette, who looked to the rest of them sceptically.

"What a coincidence Robin here was just saying how much she loves cars."

"I do? I mean, yeah I do. I'll help", she gathered her stuff up. Hook, line and sinker. He looked back to Ted and gave him a nod. "I'll see you guys later." They waved a few farewells before Barney lead her outside. Once outside she realized he had no car.

------

"Uh where's your car?" The wind blew, not that it was very cold.

"Oh that, I don't have one", Robin looked at him in disbelief. What a crappy pick-up line. "I saw you were obviously not having a good time, what with Miss I-just-got-dumped - she must be a joy at parties – so I thought you'd appreciate a way out, if not you can head back inside." That was a pretty good, Robin smiled at his joke about Maurissa. She looked back inside for a second, just to show that she was thinking about it and then observed the blond man. His hands were in his pocket; his womanizing grin was replaced with a more sympathetic, a more human one; and, he continued to stare at her awaiting her response, eyebrows raised.

"I gotta admit, that was pretty good and I was having a pretty bad time."

"No need to thank me, I was just doing what anyone else would have done. I do have one favor to ask."

"Okay what?"

"Would you like to actually go out, as in a date, with me?" And so it begins.

"Sure", she smiled.

"Well then I guess we should be properly introduced: Barney Stinson, at your service." He extended a hand.

"Robin Scherbatsky", she took his hand, it was felt soft and firm, "how do you do?"


	3. First Date

The First Date

* * *

"So, Barney, what do you do for a living?" He had brought her to a fancy restaurant, the kind you needed to book months in advance for, fifteen minutes after she had agreed to go out on a date with him

"Please. Let's not talk about me. What about you? What's your profession, Robin?"

"I'm a reporter for Metro News 1, kinda." He raised an eyebrow as she continued, "I do the little fluff stories at the end. You know like, "Twins turn 99" and how a cat got stuck in a tree."

"That's too bad; you could probably be a great reporter", he said in all honesty.

"Yeah, well I'm hoping to get some real stories soon."

"That's great!" He said excited, "hey maybe you could use your boss's comatose state to have a little fun."

"Fun?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, you could say dirty words on tv!"

"I don't, Barney", she thoughtfully responded after a sip of wine, "I've only had this job for a couple of months. I wouldn't want to ruin any chances I have at getting promoted." He nodded understandingly as she looked away for a moment before adding: "Maybe later though." He returned her flirtatious grin.

"Hey Ted", Barney walked into Ted and Marshall's apartment the next day. Ted was sitting on the couch sipping some coffee. "Where's Marshall and Lily?"

"You don't want to know.." Ever since they were engaged – which was less than 24 hours ago – Lily had become very ... horny. "So how was your _date_?"

"It was great. She's actually a pretty interesting person," he thought for a moment before adding, "and she's hot."

"Does that mean you're gonna see her again?"

"Well I am dating her", he stated manner of fact.

"Yeah but I mean, is she actually willing to go out with Barney Stinson again?"

"I'll have you know that I am capable of being a gentleman when need be."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"Trick question, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell", he looked around to make sure no one else was there. "But it did go very well... Had a great pick-up line... Right out front she saw me as a nice guy, some say charming even..."

"So when's your next date Prince Charming?" Ted teased, looking through his paper.

"Tomorrow night, it's gonna be awesome."

"So Robin, how was your date with the car guy?" Maurissa asked her over the phone. Robin was at work, on a break, and decided to call her while she waited for a squirrel, which supposedly looked like Harry Potter, to come out from a tree.

"It was good; he took me to a nice restaurant; had a great dinner; he's not that bad of a guy."

"You didn't sleep with him, did you?"

"No", she grinned, "but I was pretty flirty. Anyways I'm going out with him again tomorrow night, date numero dose."

"Yeah about that..."

"What?"

"Well it's just, we were all pretty drunk and Katey and I were talking and... I'm not sure if it was such a great idea..."

"What do you mean? This is gonna be fun, like the movie!"

"That movie had a really sad part..."

"Because they fell in love! Hello, not gonna happen to me."

"But you just said he's not that bad of a guy..."

"Yeah and you- oh shoot Hairy Potters coming out of his hole."

"... Are you still with him? ..."

"What? No. Listen I gotta go." And with that she hung up the phone.

That night, after running around a park chasing a rodent, Robin Scherbatsky headed to the first bar she saw, which just happen to be the one she was at last night, MacLaren. Barney, Marshall and Lily just happen to be there to. (What a coincidence.)

"So you're actually gonna date this girl?" Lily asked him.

"Yup."

"Because Ted challenged you?" Marshall asked in turn.

"That, plus she's hot. You too don't seem to understand that." He looked up and saw Robin walk into the bar. "Oh, there she is!" He pointed to her.

"Wow, she is hot", Lily remarked.

"Told ya."

"So, Barney, you going to invite her to meet your friends, it's the boyfriend thing to do." Marshall teased; he still had a hard time believing Barney would actually agree to such a challenge. And he definitely wanted to see it.

"Uh..." he alternated his stare between Marshall and Lily and Robin before deciding. "Yes, yes I am." He got up to go see her. He arrived behind her just as she was ordering a scotch.

"100 bucks says that when you turn around I say 'wow'." She turned around and he grinned. After a small pause during which he seemed to inch closer ever so much Robin whispered back.

"Isn't this when you're supposed to say 'wow'?"

"Is it?" He edge away for effect before coming back in, "sorry I was distracted by this incredibly hot girl, totally blanked out, won't happen again." She smiled and he leaned in even closer to kiss her. Pulling apart he paid for her drink, "Come on, I want you to meet my friends."

"Your friends?" She asked panicked.

"Yeah, you'll love them, well... okay they just got engaged-"

"Engaged?"

"Yeah, but besides that they're great. Come on." They went to sit in the gang's usual booth across from Marshall and Lily. Barney put his arm around her shoulder. "Marshall, Lily, I would like you to meet Robin Scherbatsky. Robin, this is Lily and that's Marshall."


	4. Meeting the friends

Meeting the friends

* * *

"And that's why I'm wearing an eye patch. So, Robin, how do you like Barney?" Lily asked when the two had excused themselves to the bathroom.

"Barney? Oh he's, he's definitely something", she nervously responded. Lily eyed her suspiciously. "He's funny and... interesting... and... why don't you tell me more about him?" She tried to change subjects; she was fake-dating Barney, how was she suppose to describe what could possess her to date him?

"What?"

"Yeah, I've only been on one date with him, but you must have known him for years."

"I guess..."

"So, what can you tell me about Barney Stinson?" It was Lily's turn to be nervous. She didn't want to ruin Barney's chance with someone who wasn't a bimbo, plus Robin seemed nice enough.

"Right well he's... creative", always coming up with new ways to hook up with girls, "and smart and he has a great sense of humour. And he's a really good friend."

"Really?"

"Really?" Marshall asked Barney one more time.

"I'm telling you, Marshall, this is gonna be cake. Dating is easy; I don't know what Ted's always whining about."

"And it doesn't bother you?"

"What doesn't?" Barney asked taking a sip of his whisky.

"Not being able to sleep with anyone else?"

"Say what now?"

"Barney, don't tell me you've slept with someone else already." Marshall felt a pang of sorrow for Robin, anger for Barney and overall disappointment. "It's been one day!"

"Marshall, please. Give me a bit of credit. When Barney Stinson does something, he does it right." He paused about to drink some whiskey, "and he will leave you satisfied, what up!" He raised his hand, expecting a fist bump.

"Anyways it was really nice meeting you all", Robin said when the night came to an end.

"Yeah, we should hang out sometime!" Lily said, excited to have made a new female friend.

"Definitely, I'll call you", she said getting up.

"I'll walk you out", Barney got up, giving a pointed look to Marshall. On their way out Ted walked past them to the booth. He looked at them and they glanced at him.

"Hey," Ted greeted sitting down across from Lily and Marshall. "So you guys met Barney's 'girlfriend'."

"Uh huh."

"Well what d'you think? Did he brainwash her?"

"He wouldn't do that", Marshal grinned at the joke then turned to Lily, worried. "Would he?"

"No, Robin's nice. I like her, and Barney seems to also."

"Come on, Lily, it's Barney. He's pretending; we've all seen his act. He finds a bimbo, picks her up, has sex and then ditches her." Ted continued, "I'm starting to feel a little bad for his fake-girlfriend."

"-Robin", Lily informed him. "And I like her. If Barney ditches her we won't be able to hang out... Nice going Ted!"

"What? I didn't pick her", Ted defended himself. "Plus you know how Barney gets when he thinks you challenged him, even when you didn't."

"It's true", Marshall agreed.

"So Robin's nice uh?

"Yeah, she's uh..." Lily hesitated looking to Marshall.

"What?" Ted asked. It was then that Lily and Marshall had one of their famous telepathic conversations.

Lily: _Should we tell him?_

Marshall: _He's going to find out eventually._

Lily: _I guess... but he's going to Ted out about it for sure._

Marshall: Well, t_hat's a risk we'll just have to face._

"Okay, Marshmallow, you tell him." Marshall nodded while Ted raised a hand in question, partially shrugging, and waited to be enlightened.

"Ted, how have you always described your perfect woman?"

"Uh...Smart, funny, hot... Loves a good scotch, can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters. Must love dogs, I'm just not a cat person, you know? Loves Star Wars, or at the very least can appreciate its awesomeness. And fulfilling the olive theory would be great too... Why do you ask?"

"Well...."

--Flashback to earlier that evening--

"I'll have a scotch."

"The same", Barney told Wendy the waitress.

"So, Robin, are you new in town?"

"Yeah, I moved here a few months ago. Haven't really had time to make many new friends, but I don't get too lonely", Barney smirked. "I have five dogs."

"Wow, five dogs."

"It's not something strange, in my neighbourhood."

"Is it something weird and it don't look good?" Barney responded.

"Well if it were I know who to call", she returned his grin.

Then they simultaneously call out: "Ghostbusters!" And begun chuckling.

--Flashforwards--

"No way, no way!" Ted cried out, "Barney's fake girlfriend is my perfect woman. What are the odds..." Ted thought out loud as Marshall and Lily looked at each other, having nothing more to say and feeling rather uncomfortable.

"So, Robin, how you like Marshall and Lily?" Barney asked her as she tried to hail a cab.

"They're nice. You have great friends, Barney Stinson."

"And you haven't even met my best friend, yet. You'd love him."

"Uh, Barney", she asked as they got into the cab, "we should probably get this straight right now... I'm not really looking for a long term relationship right now."

"Where to?" The cab driver, who appeared to be from the middle east, asked. Robin gave him her address.

"Anyways, you know I mean, Barney?

"Absolutely, we are on the same page. I got ya, right here." He tapped the side of his head. After a short silence, "We're not breaking up, are we, 'cause if that's what you're talking about we are not on the same page."

"No, we aren't breaking up." She smiled.

"So... we are dating?", he hesitated.

"Uhh... yeah I guess we are." They shared a look, smiling uneasily, which was interrupted by their cab driver.

"I would say so." The couple awkwardly looked away.


	5. Signal

A/N: Sorry for the delay, more soon. Also a new community on LJ has sprung up from this fic. It's basically HIMYM AU style, in case anyone is interested (delete spacing): http : // community .livejournal .com / au_hbmr

5 – Signal

Barney walked Robin to her door, telling the cab driver to wait. At the door, Robin turned to say goodnight.

"Goodnight, Barney", she said sweetly.

"Goodnight", he said taking a step forward, "Robin." He paused a moment to allow their closeness to take effect. The intimacy of the moment, he knew, was important; it was almost as important as what would come next. "I had a nice time tonight." Call it the drum roll to 'la pièce de résistance', it can be as or more important than the kiss itself. A bad kiss was easy to spot even before lips met.

"Me too", she grinned back, looking him over. He leaned in, she smelled good, lavender. The corners of his mouth tightened into a small smile. She filled the gap between them, pressing her lips against his and closing her eyes. He reciprocated; she was a really good kisser. 'Course he was as well, and together...

Finally he pulled away, taking a quick breath. "I had a lovely evening, Miss Robin Scherbatsky." She nodded, just as stunned as he, though they both played it cool.

"Uh huh..."

"So, we still on for next week?" She was going to Orlando for a week to cover some giant pancake, it was a world record.

"Definitely." They both remained, neither wanted to move away. "You know, I just got a new juicer, maybe you want to come upstairs and try it out."

"I love juice."

"Totally! So do you want to-" A loud honk interrupted her.

"Robin! We've been looking all over for you", one of Robin's co-workers from Metro News 1 called out. "There's a guy who might jump off the bridge and you're covering it. Come on!"

"Right now?"

"Yeah come on!"

"Alright, I'll be right there. I'm sorry Barney, I got to go. Raincheck?"

"No, yeah, totally I get it. I'll call you tomorrow." He was slightly disappointed when she smiled apologetically before running into the Metro News 1 van, leaving him at her door step. He smiled back as the van drove out of sight before walking back to the waiting cab.

Barney sat back, smiling contently; this was going to be easy. He could totally stick to just one girl for two weeks.

"You're girlfriend's very pretty," the cab driver commented.

"Yeah, she's hot, even if she isn't part Lebanese... You know what I'm talking about though, right, Ranjit?" He said, looking at the drivers ID.

"Actually I'm from Bangladesh."

"Oh, are the girls there hot?" Barney leaned forward.

"Here's a picture of my wife." He pulled out a picture when they came to a red light.

"Oh, she's lovely."

"Not bad, but not great either." Ted said elaborating on his date with Yasmine. "But, I don't think it's going to work out."

"How come?"

"Because she said she had a nice time but that we should stay friends. And that it wouldn't work out."

"Ouch." Lily winced empathetically.

"Yeah..."

"Well, better luck next time right?"

"I'm just sick of this whole game." Ted said, ignoring Lily's optimism. She was engaged, what did she know of the woes of dating? He sank into his couch as Marshall came back from the kitchen and handed him a beer.

"The dating game?" Marshall asked. "Played and won, observe my prize."

"Did you just call me a prize?"

"Yes I did. You, my dear, are going to be a trophy wife."

"Aww!" The two kissed. Ted smiled with admiration before focussing again on his dilemma.

"Why can't I just meet someone and be like 'that's the girl I'm gonna marry'."

"So you see, Ranjit, it's like a game."

"Does that girl know it is a game?"

"Robin? No."

"So you are pretending to date her and she does not know?"

"Yup." Barney grinned, proud of his latest scheme; after a short silence the cabbie spoke again.

"Why would you do that to such a lovely woman?"

"It's not like she's expecting me to get down on one knee. I mean really, I'm sure she knows a quality suit when she sees one." He tugged at his sleeves, smoothing out any wrinkles. "She's a smart woman."

"You shouldn't lie to her," the cabbie persisted, almost warning him. "Lying will only lead to trouble."

"Don't cause any trouble Ted", Lily warned.

"What? I'm just saying! Barney isn't _really_ dating Robin. And from your description she sounds really great. I'm just saying, maybe I should meet her and if we hit it off, Barney wouldn't mind..."

"Besides, it's not like she'd really be interested in anything more," barney noted; he felt oddly at ease with this cabbie. "I mean, you heard her. Keep it casual, which is fine with me. I don't want to get tied down or anything."

"Because let's face facts," Ted continued, "Barney is a womanizer who's only goal, when it comes to woman, is to get them in bed with him. And not in a romantic way, in a slutty, sexual, dirty way."

"She's beautiful, funny, intelligent and pretty damn awesome. But you know, it's a little early to tell how awesome."

"I think you might like her." Ranjit responded.

"Please", Barney replied. "I haven't even slept with her yet."


	6. One and a Half

One and a Half

* * *

"Well, Ted, it looks like you're going to lose our little bet", Barney said walking into Marshall and Ted's apartment.

"We didn't make a bet." Ted said whilst channel flipping.

"Oh yes we did; you said, and I quote, I bet you couldn't actually date someone even if you really tried."

"It was a rhetorical statement."

"And I have succeeded in disproving you. For you see, Ted, Robin and I are officially dating." Ted looked up from the television screen. "That's right! We had a 'discussion' about 'us'", Barney air quoted. "And she and I are dating." He opened up a beer bottle, rejoicing in his victory.

"Barney, you've been on one date – "

"Two dates."

"Hanging out with Marshall and Lily after you randomly bumped into her doesn't count."

"Does too", he persisted.

"Not really."

"It was a double date."

"It was like half a date."

"You weren't there."

"It doesn't count as a full date."

"Fine, Robin and I have been on one and a half dates."

"Whatever, the point is you aren't really dating her. Don't you think you should just break it off before someone gets hurt?"

"Please", Barney scoffed.

"I'm serious."

"Ted this is just like any other relationship. We date, we have some fun and then we break up. The only difference here is that it'll be done consciously."

"Oh, hi Barney!" Lily said, a smile on her face, coming out from Marshall's room. "I wasn't expecting to see you again tonight", she hinted.

"Well, Robin had to go for some late breaking news."

"Really?"

"Yeah, channel 1." He instructed Ted who flipped to the channel.

--

"...giving this story a bizarre and happy ending. Reporting live for MetroNews1, this is Robin Scherbatksy."

"So Robin, did we interrupt you and your hot date?" Judy asked as she, Tim and Robin put away all the equipment.

"Yeah, no, it's fine. I mean, I'll see him when I get back from Orlando so..."

"Did you just say yeah no?"

"No..." Robin stopped, holding a box of wires (why did they need so many wires?). "I mean, I didn't meant to... I – it just came out."

"Is it a Freudian slip?"

"No," she giggled a bit, making Judy stare at her even more suspiciously. Who did she think she was anyways? She's so nosey...

"Here's the last box." Tim the camera man said, putting the box in the truck. "We'll drop you off at home. Don't forget to be in at 8 tomorrow, K?"

"Alright," Robin said, only too happy to change topics and get away from Judy's judging glare.

--

"For a whole week?"

"Yup, but don't worry Teddy-boy, she'll be back." He said, adding, with a wink and an all-knowing slow nod. "She's had a taste of Barnaby and it tastes good."


	7. One Week

One Week

A/N: Robin is away for a week and Barney's challenge gets a little more solid (not in that way, yet) and meanwhile Ted is Ted. [and thank you The Leap for the new vocab =) ]

Beta: the awesome 1angelette

A/N: Sorry I've been slow but school's now done and I get a huge summer break ;)

* * *

"So, how long?"

"68 hours."

"And you're fine?"

"I will be 'til the 69th hour. What up!" Barney said, raising his hand for a high-five. Lily shook her head and he, disappointed, put it down. "Lily, please. I'm fine, I have self control," he said, nodding to a blonde across the room. Seeing this, Lily hit his arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Barney, if you're going to date this girl, Robin, you can't be hitting on or flirting with anyone else."

"What about-?"

"No," she said with a straight face, taking a guess at what he would say.

"But I didn't even-"

"No."

"How could you say no when you don't even-?"

"No."

"But-"

"I said no!" she commanded.

"Hey, Lilypad." Marshall kissed his fiancé. "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing," Barney bitterly replied. Lily shot him another look, warning him, and Barney actually seemed worried and decided he shouldn't say anything more on the issue.

"Right, well, I was upstairs and I think Ted might have a love-overload soon."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know how Ted is, right? How sometimes he over-thinks things and how he falls in love way too easily?"

"You mean how he Teds-up and Teds-out?"

"That's Ted," Lily agreed.

"Well, I think he's reaching an even more dangerous level of Tedding."

--

Flashback to 4 minutes ago

--

"What are you doing?" Marshall asked Ted. He was standing behind Ted who was on the computer.

"What? Nothing, I was-"

"In a chat room?" Marshall raised an eyebrow when Ted tried to hide his online activities by opening a new window on his computer; unfortunately for him Marshall had been observing his activities a good minute before alerting Ted. "Oh Ted, Ted, what were you doing in a chat room called "Lonely Yorkers"?"

"I was not in a chat room named Lonely Yorkers, that'd be stupid..." Ted grinned awkwardly (or grimaced, depending how you looked at it), but was succumbed by Marshall's glare. "It was called 'Single4York'," he corrected (holding up the appropriate number of fingers) before moving away from the computer and Marshall, to fetch a beer in the kitchen.

--

Flashforward

--

"Oh, no," Barney said with a sigh.

"Did he meet anyone?" Lily asked worried.

"I don't think so," Marshall said reassuringly. "But we should keep an eye on the situation and make sure it doesn't reach the next level."

"You mean...?" Barney asked.

"That's right. 'The Mosby'," Marshall stated.

"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that." Lily took his hand.

"Here, here." Barney raised his glass. "In other news, I've nearly perfected my list," he said, placing a yellow legal pad onto the table.

"You actually made a list?" Lily asked, stealing it away from Barney.

"Yup," Barney replied, taking the yellow legal pad back from her. "I mean," he said, looking it over, "it's not finished yet. I wanted to make sure it had all the stupid things couples do, that's why I'm showing it to you two." He grinned and handed it to Marshall.

"Well, let's see what you got." Marshall said. "Share a dinner; hold hands in public; have an annoying two person message on your phone – aren't we a little old for that? I mean, you're thirty years old."

"Please, it's fine. Keep going."

"Get matching clothes; meet the family; overnight bag?"

"Like when you bring your stuff over to their place so that you actually stay there 'til the sun comes up." Barney explains.

"Oh," Marshall said understandingly. "Well, it looks like this is a pretty good list."

"Pretty good? Pretty good isn't good enough. I don't want a 'pretty good' list, I want an awesome list. I need a hot list, not a pretty one. So can you guys think of anything else? Anything to add?"

"You could play sports together!" Lily exclaimed, Barney frowned.

"If by that you mean 'physical activities', then duh, but I didn't think I had to write it down."

"No, not that," she said in disgust. "I mean you two could play sports together."

"She did say she used to play tennis..."

"See, it's perfect!" She persisted.

--

Later on...

--

"Hey, Barney, what's up?" Robin answered her phone.

"Oh, nothing much, I was bored, thought I'd see what you were up to. Not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Uh no, no I was just looking over a few figures - did you know that there's a huge debate going on about the difference between crêpes and pancakes?"

"No I did not, but that is fascinating!"

"Sarcasm, nice."

He smiled making a soft chuckle in the depths of his throat. "Thanks."


End file.
